This time, it's been eight months. I'm sorry, folks. Life in Burbank, WA is busy. We love it here. Our house is perfect, except for the bugs and the drafty windows (oh, and the fact that the deck has no railing). Den's job is going beautifully. Kate settled down nicely at her new school, with only a few break down and cry days. Girls are starting to get mean early. I guess third grade isn't too soon for rumors and punch down drag outs. Wow.
Remember when I mentioned in my last post that I shouldn't say anything about a peaceful, quiet job for myself? I was right. I shouldn't have said it. My job at the office turned out to be one of the most difficult things I've ever done in my life. Maybe it was just that office, but it appears office life is not for me. I like the hands on, getting dirty kind of work, not the paperwork, stressed out, go home and wear the same bra again the next day kind of work. So anyway, here I am, at 3:30 am, working in labor and delivery again (AMEN!) I'm working per diem for a nursing staffing agency, so I make my own hours and enjoy the work I'm doing. Plus, in theory, I'm home a little more.
Winter was a time of snuggling down as a family. The advantage to moving twice in a year is drawing together as a little unit and depending on each other. We have the most amazing support system in our families and our small group of friends here, but the three of us do pretty well together when we're by ourselves. We played cards, spent too much time watching Phineas and Ferb, and talked about the best and worst parts of our days. We even spent some freezing hours down in the blind at the nature preserve a couple of miles from our house. Mom and Dad joined us out there a few times, and we even got Travis and Carrie and the boys out birdwatching. I'm getting old.
Spring seemed to last forever. It's just now getting warm. We went to Boise in early May and spent some time with the Banuelos fam when Heather graduated. Yea, Heather! We had a great time with our friends and realized just how much we miss them. Den and I started a diet called Ideal Protein when we got back, and we've each lost about 20 pounds. Feels good!
We celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary on June 24th. We decided it would be fun to go for a little hike. Eagle Creek is a beautiful place down in the Gorge that my dad used to take me as a kid. I was pretty sure we'd get up to Punch Bowl, which is 2 miles in, and turn around. But we got there and thought, we're doing pretty good. Let's keep going. The next big waterfall is the doozy... Tunnel Falls, where you're able to walk along this tiny path on the side of a cliff and then go underneath the center of the waterfall through a little tunnel. It's really incredible, but it's also 6.5 miles in and 1640 feet up from the trailhead. We had never planned on going that far, but we DID! It was all fun and games until the last two miles out, after we had already hiked 11 miles. We're far too old and out of shape for that and we could barely walk by the time we were done. Den doesn't plan on doing it again in the foreseeable future. I, however, cannot wait to get back in the saddle and take Kate with us. I'm sure my hips will be screaming at me to stop much earlier this next time...
The fourth was great. Den's cousin, Jason, and his daughter Jordan (who has become Kate's Siamese twin) spent the weekend at our place. They only live about 25 minutes away, but we have the space, and the kids love to spend nights together as much as possible :) Our other Jason was over with his family from Yakima to visit his parents, so we spent some time with them too. Den and cousin Jason put up the pool on Friday and Saturday, so we swam and the kids jumped on the trampoline all day on the fourth. We watched fireworks from the deck until the big shows started, and then we drove down by the preserve where we watched at least six big shows from a distance over the lake. It was fantastic.
We're heading just south of Lincoln City with my parents the end of July. Can't wait. I love the beach. Kate's going to an animal encounter at the aquarium, where its purported she will receive her first kiss. From a sea lion. I think Den will be okay with that one.
I realize there is nothing remotely funny or entertaining about this blog post. But throw me a bone here... it is almost 4 am. There is nothing comical in the entire world at this time of night. I do solemnly swear to post a wittier post with some pictures at a time in the future less than or equal to the time it took me to post this one. That's not saying much.
I love ya'll.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Summer fun (and employment)
Five months later, I remembered I have a blog. Quite seriously, I woke up this morning thinking, "I really need to post something on that blog. It's been a really long time, and those few people who actually read it are probably wondering where in the world we've gone." Crazy. That's where we've gone.
Lots has happened this summer:
First, I have worked myself into a useless, unwifely, unmotherly, attempting to work way too much machine who is exhausted and irritable. Thank goodness, I am done. (More about that later.)
Second, we had a wonderful roommate, a friend of Den's brother who's been around forever, for a few months. Jason is a six foot four inch teddy bear. We had a blast with him, got tired of him, and made him get his own apartment. We miss him.
June brought our family campout, where a bunch of us insane Nygaards stay under the same roof and attempt not to kill each other while eating huge amounts of food and drowning in sarcasm. We went to Leavenworth this year and actually slept inside. It was fantastic!
In the end of July, our incredible friends, the LaBarberas, lost their son, Torey, in a bike/auto accident. It has been so awful to watch them grieve, but they are healing and trying their best to do everything they can to honor Torey's memory. Den was able to go over to Boise for the funeral. We all went to Labor Day weekend at Alan and Daniele's cabin, along with the Labarberas, the Evans family, and the Lopemans. It was a wonderful time of talking and playing and just being friends. We even had time that weekend to share some On The Border with the Banuelos fam!
Just the three of us went to Seattle for a mini-vacation in early August. It was GREAT to just do some fun stuff. We even got to eat on top of the Space Needle! The weekend after that, we took another trip to Tacoma for my cousin's wedding reception. Congrats, Carl and Kristen!
Den had an interview with the DOT in late September and found out HE GOT THE JOB!!!! in early October. He's working as a signal technician out of Pasco and has about a third of the east side of the state. He's been training in Yakima, but when we move to the Tri-Cities area this next week, he'll be over there. He's got an amazing boss and a wonderful crew to work with. The job is a little different from what he's done in the past, but he's catching on and enjoying it.
I interviewed at an OB-GYN clinic in Pasco and was asked to work there as one physician's office nurse. I start next Tuesday, and I'm excited about being home on weekends and evenings. I'm sad to be leaving labor and delivery, but we only get our kids once, and I'd like to spend some time with mine. When Kate grows up and decides she doesn't like me anymore, I'll probably go back to helping deliver babies. In the meantime, it will be a quiet, simple job for me (although I shouldn't really say that, because it will probably mean my job will be chaotic, impossible, and overcomplicated, so knock on wood...)
My side of the family took a little trip to Lincoln City in early October. It was fast, just a weekend, and we were missing a large chunk of our crew (Travis and Justin stayed in G-dale for a game), but we had a blast!
We're moving to Burbank, WA next week. Jason (that roommate I talked about) grew up there, and his parents own an old farmhouse that has been empty for over four years. He talked them into renting it to us, and they even gave us the option to buy in a couple of years if we'd like to. It's on three acres that are currently leased out for horses and has a shed and a barn-ish shop thing. The house has five real bedrooms (two that are masters), two basement bedrooms with no outside window that can't really be offically bedrooms, four and a half baths, a nursery that we'll use for a craft room, a man cave, and three living areas. Fortunately, there is only one kitchen, since I'm not really sure how I'm going to clean the rest. We're going to completely seal off the basement for the winter to save heating costs. It's insanely big for us, but we are so excited to spread out and enjoy the rural life!
Speaking of the country, we went over there to clean yesterday, and discovered just how country it is. There is NO pizza delivery to our house! Is that legal? Is this really America? I LOVE IT!!!! I may not say that in two weeks when I'm butt-dragging tired, Dennis is working late, and I can't find my can opener, but for now, it's simply wonderful to be that far away from the rat race. It's great, though, that Den's about 8 minutes from work there, and I'm only about 12 minutes. We can do that.
Okay, so now I'm going to tell you some funny stuff. But if you don't subscribe to the "humor is a good way to cope with loss" idea, you will want to stop reading right here, because this is irreverant and you may be seriously offended. If you think laughing at something that hurts sometimes is helpful, read on.
Kate was singing a made-up song about Jordan the other day while she was lounging on her mattress in our room before we had "family sleep night." She sings, "I love her, I love her, I love her a lot. I love her, I love her, she lives in a box." Seriously, I have never tried so hard not to laugh out loud in my life. What creepy eight-year-old comes up with something like that?
Then, yesterday when we went to clean the new house, Jason's dad, Dave, was there moving some old stuff out. I told him I was bringing something kind of weird into the house (I wanted to take Jordan's ashes in their little box over there before the move so they didn't get lost.) So, when he asks what it is, I told him it was J's ashes. He says, "That's not weird. Now if you'd brought in some little white casket, I'd have told you we were going outside to dig a hole. THAT would be weird." I love this man.
Thanks to my parents and Den's mom for helping us clean and organize yesterday. You guys are fantastic!
In closing of my not-making-any-sense post, if any of ya'll want to come help us move two hours away, feel free to come stub your toes, hurt your back, and blow out a hernia. We'd love to see you!
Lots has happened this summer:
First, I have worked myself into a useless, unwifely, unmotherly, attempting to work way too much machine who is exhausted and irritable. Thank goodness, I am done. (More about that later.)
Second, we had a wonderful roommate, a friend of Den's brother who's been around forever, for a few months. Jason is a six foot four inch teddy bear. We had a blast with him, got tired of him, and made him get his own apartment. We miss him.
June brought our family campout, where a bunch of us insane Nygaards stay under the same roof and attempt not to kill each other while eating huge amounts of food and drowning in sarcasm. We went to Leavenworth this year and actually slept inside. It was fantastic!
In the end of July, our incredible friends, the LaBarberas, lost their son, Torey, in a bike/auto accident. It has been so awful to watch them grieve, but they are healing and trying their best to do everything they can to honor Torey's memory. Den was able to go over to Boise for the funeral. We all went to Labor Day weekend at Alan and Daniele's cabin, along with the Labarberas, the Evans family, and the Lopemans. It was a wonderful time of talking and playing and just being friends. We even had time that weekend to share some On The Border with the Banuelos fam!
Just the three of us went to Seattle for a mini-vacation in early August. It was GREAT to just do some fun stuff. We even got to eat on top of the Space Needle! The weekend after that, we took another trip to Tacoma for my cousin's wedding reception. Congrats, Carl and Kristen!
Den had an interview with the DOT in late September and found out HE GOT THE JOB!!!! in early October. He's working as a signal technician out of Pasco and has about a third of the east side of the state. He's been training in Yakima, but when we move to the Tri-Cities area this next week, he'll be over there. He's got an amazing boss and a wonderful crew to work with. The job is a little different from what he's done in the past, but he's catching on and enjoying it.
I interviewed at an OB-GYN clinic in Pasco and was asked to work there as one physician's office nurse. I start next Tuesday, and I'm excited about being home on weekends and evenings. I'm sad to be leaving labor and delivery, but we only get our kids once, and I'd like to spend some time with mine. When Kate grows up and decides she doesn't like me anymore, I'll probably go back to helping deliver babies. In the meantime, it will be a quiet, simple job for me (although I shouldn't really say that, because it will probably mean my job will be chaotic, impossible, and overcomplicated, so knock on wood...)
My side of the family took a little trip to Lincoln City in early October. It was fast, just a weekend, and we were missing a large chunk of our crew (Travis and Justin stayed in G-dale for a game), but we had a blast!
We're moving to Burbank, WA next week. Jason (that roommate I talked about) grew up there, and his parents own an old farmhouse that has been empty for over four years. He talked them into renting it to us, and they even gave us the option to buy in a couple of years if we'd like to. It's on three acres that are currently leased out for horses and has a shed and a barn-ish shop thing. The house has five real bedrooms (two that are masters), two basement bedrooms with no outside window that can't really be offically bedrooms, four and a half baths, a nursery that we'll use for a craft room, a man cave, and three living areas. Fortunately, there is only one kitchen, since I'm not really sure how I'm going to clean the rest. We're going to completely seal off the basement for the winter to save heating costs. It's insanely big for us, but we are so excited to spread out and enjoy the rural life!
Speaking of the country, we went over there to clean yesterday, and discovered just how country it is. There is NO pizza delivery to our house! Is that legal? Is this really America? I LOVE IT!!!! I may not say that in two weeks when I'm butt-dragging tired, Dennis is working late, and I can't find my can opener, but for now, it's simply wonderful to be that far away from the rat race. It's great, though, that Den's about 8 minutes from work there, and I'm only about 12 minutes. We can do that.
Okay, so now I'm going to tell you some funny stuff. But if you don't subscribe to the "humor is a good way to cope with loss" idea, you will want to stop reading right here, because this is irreverant and you may be seriously offended. If you think laughing at something that hurts sometimes is helpful, read on.
Kate was singing a made-up song about Jordan the other day while she was lounging on her mattress in our room before we had "family sleep night." She sings, "I love her, I love her, I love her a lot. I love her, I love her, she lives in a box." Seriously, I have never tried so hard not to laugh out loud in my life. What creepy eight-year-old comes up with something like that?
Then, yesterday when we went to clean the new house, Jason's dad, Dave, was there moving some old stuff out. I told him I was bringing something kind of weird into the house (I wanted to take Jordan's ashes in their little box over there before the move so they didn't get lost.) So, when he asks what it is, I told him it was J's ashes. He says, "That's not weird. Now if you'd brought in some little white casket, I'd have told you we were going outside to dig a hole. THAT would be weird." I love this man.
Thanks to my parents and Den's mom for helping us clean and organize yesterday. You guys are fantastic!
In closing of my not-making-any-sense post, if any of ya'll want to come help us move two hours away, feel free to come stub your toes, hurt your back, and blow out a hernia. We'd love to see you!
The butterfly garden at the Pacific Science Center
Kate chillin' with the caterpiller at PSC
Kate and Emery on the first day of school
Daniele teaching me how to go four-wheelin' at the cabin. It was so much fun :)
The boys, Den, Alan, Bret, and Jason. There were a few of the girls, but I couldn't get one to load :(
Us with Jason and Lisa LaBarbera
Kate is attempting photography. Not bad, but her subject matter could be better...
Kate and her Pop on a walk down the Klickitat River
Fun at the fair on the gondola ride
Our little family at Depot Bay, OR in EXTREMELY high wind!
Kate's new haircut
Monday, May 31, 2010
Trip to Boise
I'm lazy. Six weeks without a post. I really do mean to keep up with ya'll, but I'm doing an awful job. Sorry...
Den turned 40 (gasp!) on May 13th. He really took it pretty well, even though I bought him black balloons. Bad wife!!! Here are some pictures from his party.
So, two weeks ago we made a trip to Boise. We had a blast and enjoyed our time with the Sanchez fam and with the Banueloses (is that a word?) We even had an evening with the Lopemans! Thanks for putting up with us, guys. We ate to much, probably drank too much, and we definitely played too much, but it was fantastic. Of course, we didn't get to see everyone we wanted to see, but I suppose that's normal when you move far away and only have a few days to see people. I've included some pictures for your viewing enjoyment.
On an improving note, Den has a good line on a job at Hanford that we hope to hear about this week or next. We've had a couple of good ones come up lately, but one position was cancelled before they had filled it, so obviously that didn't work out. If Den does get the job at Hanford, we will eventually move to the Tri-Cities just so we can all be living and working close together. I will probably stay over here in Yakima three days a week to work until I can find work over there. Nurses usually don't have too many problems finding a job, so it shouldn't take long. We'll see how it turns out, but we would certainly appreciate your prayers as we wait to hear this week.
Working nights has certainly put a damper on my wittiness, as I read over this terribly dry blog. Alas, forgive me, for my brain is weary and weak (what's new?)
Den turned 40 (gasp!) on May 13th. He really took it pretty well, even though I bought him black balloons. Bad wife!!! Here are some pictures from his party.
So, two weeks ago we made a trip to Boise. We had a blast and enjoyed our time with the Sanchez fam and with the Banueloses (is that a word?) We even had an evening with the Lopemans! Thanks for putting up with us, guys. We ate to much, probably drank too much, and we definitely played too much, but it was fantastic. Of course, we didn't get to see everyone we wanted to see, but I suppose that's normal when you move far away and only have a few days to see people. I've included some pictures for your viewing enjoyment.
On an improving note, Den has a good line on a job at Hanford that we hope to hear about this week or next. We've had a couple of good ones come up lately, but one position was cancelled before they had filled it, so obviously that didn't work out. If Den does get the job at Hanford, we will eventually move to the Tri-Cities just so we can all be living and working close together. I will probably stay over here in Yakima three days a week to work until I can find work over there. Nurses usually don't have too many problems finding a job, so it shouldn't take long. We'll see how it turns out, but we would certainly appreciate your prayers as we wait to hear this week.
Working nights has certainly put a damper on my wittiness, as I read over this terribly dry blog. Alas, forgive me, for my brain is weary and weak (what's new?)
Friday, April 16, 2010
The Zoo
I'm not sure whether this title is about our actual trips to the zoo, or whether its just a good title for life right now. Either way... a little about us right now.
Den is still looking for a job. Unfortunately, there are just no jobs. Fortunately, it's not him. He's doing a great job of being Mr. Mom and keeping the house and yard looking good. He's not perfect, and I don't think he'll be starting his own Merry Maids franchiase anytime soon, but it sure makes life easier for me! He's been spending lots of time with Mom and his brother, making up for lots of lost time with family while we were in Idaho. It's nice to be home...
Kate is doing well adjusting to upside down life. She's so amazingly flexible. She sometimes struggles with me being gone in the evenings three days a week, but she does okay with an occasional phone call to the hospital and visits to eat in the cafeteria with me sometimes. She loves having her daddy home. She's home from school and out the door to play with her friends for a few hours most evenings. She won't have homework until next year, so she makes the most of it! She's doing great with reading and loves spelling, which she is exceptionally good at. Although she really misses her friends back in Boise and Kuna, she is fitting in really well and loving her new school and friends.
I'm pushing through right now. Wish I could say it was easier than that, but right now, it's not. I'm working 3 pm to 3 am, which is much better than 7 to 7, but I don't see Kate very much, which stinks. I'm pretty tired all of the time and just waiting for a day shift to come up, which may take a few years. Patience is NOT my strong suite, and you probably know. I do love my job, which makes up a lot for the crappy hours. I've been getting my butt kicked by a massage therapist who tries to kill me twice a week lately. It's really helping my headaches, though, so I try not to complain while he attempts to separate my muscles from my bones. (Or so it feels...)
A few weekends back, Den went on a motorcycle trip with his uncles to Caldwell. While he had a blast obtaining a significantly sore rear end, I took Kate to Tacoma for a little visit with my Uncle Tim and Aunt Rita and a trip to Point Defiance Zoo. We had a great time together for the morning at least. Somehow, I scratched my cornea just before the zoo, and I didn't have glasses with me, so I cried my way home after a miserable afternoon at the zoo. Since the end of that trip was such a failure, we decided to take Kate out of school on Monday for a "family wellness day." (How's that for a truancy excuse?) Den went with us to Woodland Park Zoo, and we were even able to pick Grammy up on the way. (She was up in Seattle with Dad for a work conference he had). It was a wonderful, warm, sunny day in Seattle, and the zoo was great. It was so nice to spend a day with our family. We even got a few pictures of our relatives while we were up there... I'll post those next.
Hope this little post finds you well!
P.S. Posting pictures is just not working right now, so I'll try again later!
Den is still looking for a job. Unfortunately, there are just no jobs. Fortunately, it's not him. He's doing a great job of being Mr. Mom and keeping the house and yard looking good. He's not perfect, and I don't think he'll be starting his own Merry Maids franchiase anytime soon, but it sure makes life easier for me! He's been spending lots of time with Mom and his brother, making up for lots of lost time with family while we were in Idaho. It's nice to be home...
Kate is doing well adjusting to upside down life. She's so amazingly flexible. She sometimes struggles with me being gone in the evenings three days a week, but she does okay with an occasional phone call to the hospital and visits to eat in the cafeteria with me sometimes. She loves having her daddy home. She's home from school and out the door to play with her friends for a few hours most evenings. She won't have homework until next year, so she makes the most of it! She's doing great with reading and loves spelling, which she is exceptionally good at. Although she really misses her friends back in Boise and Kuna, she is fitting in really well and loving her new school and friends.
I'm pushing through right now. Wish I could say it was easier than that, but right now, it's not. I'm working 3 pm to 3 am, which is much better than 7 to 7, but I don't see Kate very much, which stinks. I'm pretty tired all of the time and just waiting for a day shift to come up, which may take a few years. Patience is NOT my strong suite, and you probably know. I do love my job, which makes up a lot for the crappy hours. I've been getting my butt kicked by a massage therapist who tries to kill me twice a week lately. It's really helping my headaches, though, so I try not to complain while he attempts to separate my muscles from my bones. (Or so it feels...)
A few weekends back, Den went on a motorcycle trip with his uncles to Caldwell. While he had a blast obtaining a significantly sore rear end, I took Kate to Tacoma for a little visit with my Uncle Tim and Aunt Rita and a trip to Point Defiance Zoo. We had a great time together for the morning at least. Somehow, I scratched my cornea just before the zoo, and I didn't have glasses with me, so I cried my way home after a miserable afternoon at the zoo. Since the end of that trip was such a failure, we decided to take Kate out of school on Monday for a "family wellness day." (How's that for a truancy excuse?) Den went with us to Woodland Park Zoo, and we were even able to pick Grammy up on the way. (She was up in Seattle with Dad for a work conference he had). It was a wonderful, warm, sunny day in Seattle, and the zoo was great. It was so nice to spend a day with our family. We even got a few pictures of our relatives while we were up there... I'll post those next.
Hope this little post finds you well!
P.S. Posting pictures is just not working right now, so I'll try again later!
Two AM Musings by Mandy
There should be a big sign when exiting the womb that reads, "Life is NOT fair!" Even the nicest children get picked on, car accidents happen, babies are sick, people die too young, you may work really hard and still become unemployed, kids run away from home, and sometimes your brain doesn't work and you can be sad no matter how much you have to be happy about.
Of course, babies couldn't read the sign even if it was there... but I wish there were some sort of warning. I'm occasionally angry that I am not one of the most talented, brilliant people in the world. I'd like to have two healthy girls living with their daddy and mommy in our cute little house. I would like our cute little house not to be falling apart. It'd be nice if Den could find a really good job close to home where he would feel productive, creative, and happy. I would love for our parents never to grow old and for Kate to never have her feelings hurt. It would be nice if my old friend's step-daughter hadn't run away several weeks ago and still not come home. I wish every baby was born healthy and happy.
A few weeks ago, we lost two babies suddenly at work in a really short time period. It broke my heart. It brought back a lot of memories for me watching those families grieve for their little ones. I've been really angry and frustrated at our lack of ability in the medical field to figure out why this happens. I've been tired of feeling sick and tired. In short, discouraged would describe me.
Until tonight, when God put a little miracle in my path and reminded me that He is in control, and I don't have to understand why life isn't fair. I simply have to trust that He is there, and He will fix it. Why, oh why, can't I just remember this???
When Jordan was with us, it was so easy to pray. We were so helpless to heal her, and the only choice we had was to pour out our pain and our fears to God. It was like having an open phone line to heaven all of the time. I prayed when I ate, when I bathed, when I slept, and when I held that little angel. I felt so close to God. Even after she died, I felt that way. Then life happened, and I gradually forgot that feeling.
Then those little punkins died at work, and I prayed so hard that I had that same experience of constant prayer. It was wonderful, but I felt so let down after both of them went to heaven despite my begging.
Then tonight a mommy comes into triage, and we can't find heart tones, not on Doppler or on ultrasound. She's already had a baby die in the past... I was feeling like this just cannot happen to her again. Just in case there was any life left in that little one, we do a stat c-section, and this precious little girl comes out with a heart rate. Still not breathing, but she has a heart rate. They were intubating her when I walked out of the room to run down to the lab with her cord blood. I prayed and prayed, as I know most of us up there were doing tonight, and when I walked back upstairs and into the OR suite, that baby's cry tore out of the room like voices from heaven. I have no explaination but that God just fixed her!
I don't know why some prayers are answered the way we want them to be and others aren't. It's not fair, and I guess we'd be weird if we didn't get frustrated with that sometimes. But tonight I know a couple of things... God hears me and does what He knows is best, even if I don't always agree. I will keep trying every day to feel that constant prayer, and when I don't feel it, I will remember who hung up and pick up the phone again. I will be faithful about my work schedule, Den's job hunt, and my health. I won't be discouraged, because the God I serve is a miraculous God!
I'll get on here soon and tell you about our recent trips to the zoos in Seattle and the other stuff going on in life. I'll post some pictures too. Thanks for listening to me :)
Of course, babies couldn't read the sign even if it was there... but I wish there were some sort of warning. I'm occasionally angry that I am not one of the most talented, brilliant people in the world. I'd like to have two healthy girls living with their daddy and mommy in our cute little house. I would like our cute little house not to be falling apart. It'd be nice if Den could find a really good job close to home where he would feel productive, creative, and happy. I would love for our parents never to grow old and for Kate to never have her feelings hurt. It would be nice if my old friend's step-daughter hadn't run away several weeks ago and still not come home. I wish every baby was born healthy and happy.
A few weeks ago, we lost two babies suddenly at work in a really short time period. It broke my heart. It brought back a lot of memories for me watching those families grieve for their little ones. I've been really angry and frustrated at our lack of ability in the medical field to figure out why this happens. I've been tired of feeling sick and tired. In short, discouraged would describe me.
Until tonight, when God put a little miracle in my path and reminded me that He is in control, and I don't have to understand why life isn't fair. I simply have to trust that He is there, and He will fix it. Why, oh why, can't I just remember this???
When Jordan was with us, it was so easy to pray. We were so helpless to heal her, and the only choice we had was to pour out our pain and our fears to God. It was like having an open phone line to heaven all of the time. I prayed when I ate, when I bathed, when I slept, and when I held that little angel. I felt so close to God. Even after she died, I felt that way. Then life happened, and I gradually forgot that feeling.
Then those little punkins died at work, and I prayed so hard that I had that same experience of constant prayer. It was wonderful, but I felt so let down after both of them went to heaven despite my begging.
Then tonight a mommy comes into triage, and we can't find heart tones, not on Doppler or on ultrasound. She's already had a baby die in the past... I was feeling like this just cannot happen to her again. Just in case there was any life left in that little one, we do a stat c-section, and this precious little girl comes out with a heart rate. Still not breathing, but she has a heart rate. They were intubating her when I walked out of the room to run down to the lab with her cord blood. I prayed and prayed, as I know most of us up there were doing tonight, and when I walked back upstairs and into the OR suite, that baby's cry tore out of the room like voices from heaven. I have no explaination but that God just fixed her!
I don't know why some prayers are answered the way we want them to be and others aren't. It's not fair, and I guess we'd be weird if we didn't get frustrated with that sometimes. But tonight I know a couple of things... God hears me and does what He knows is best, even if I don't always agree. I will keep trying every day to feel that constant prayer, and when I don't feel it, I will remember who hung up and pick up the phone again. I will be faithful about my work schedule, Den's job hunt, and my health. I won't be discouraged, because the God I serve is a miraculous God!
I'll get on here soon and tell you about our recent trips to the zoos in Seattle and the other stuff going on in life. I'll post some pictures too. Thanks for listening to me :)
Friday, February 12, 2010
Happy Valentine's Day!
Hi, friends! Just a quick update to wish you a happy holiday full of love! We've been celebrating all week with dates with Kate. I took Kate to see Annie at The Capitol Theater on Tuesday night, and it was simply fantastic. We got all dressed up and went out to eat before and all. Of course, getting home at 11:00 made for a late night for Kate, but she seems to have bounced back okay. Tonight, Den is taking her to a Father/Daughter ball at the high school called "Beauty and the Geek." We got her all dressed up tonight, and Daddy even bought her a corsage. They're out to dinner right now enjoying each other's company. No word yet when Mommy and Daddy will go on a date, but hopefully soon :)
I'll start working a weird shift next week, usually 1 pm to 1 am. For a few weeks while one of my friends is on maternity leave, I'll be doing 3 pm to 3 am, but then I'll go back to ones. We'll see how it goes! I'm really excited to no longer be awake at 4 am. YEA!!!
We love you all! Happy Valentine's Day!
This is the normal floor pandemonium at our house when Den decides to stretch out on the floor. For some reason, Cinderella believes that any back at less than a 150 degree angle is a chair. She's hilarious!
Kate and Mommy before the play
Happy Valentine's Day from Kate!
Daddy and the Princess tonight
Isn't she beautiful?
I'll start working a weird shift next week, usually 1 pm to 1 am. For a few weeks while one of my friends is on maternity leave, I'll be doing 3 pm to 3 am, but then I'll go back to ones. We'll see how it goes! I'm really excited to no longer be awake at 4 am. YEA!!!
We love you all! Happy Valentine's Day!
This is the normal floor pandemonium at our house when Den decides to stretch out on the floor. For some reason, Cinderella believes that any back at less than a 150 degree angle is a chair. She's hilarious!
Kate and Mommy before the play
Happy Valentine's Day from Kate!
Daddy and the Princess tonight
Isn't she beautiful?
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